


Within The Mind

by KorruptBrekker



Series: The Within Sequence [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mind Manipulation - Freeform, hunter!Roman, not beta read we die like men, siren!janus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27818776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KorruptBrekker/pseuds/KorruptBrekker
Summary: Roman Prince comes from a long line of siren hunters. Working to show his worth to his late father, Roman comes across a rare breed of mer--an eel siren. Although Roman is prepared, he isn't prepared enough, and falls victim to the siren's spell. How will he escape? Or will he want to at all?This is a sequel, but can be read as a stand alone.Updates Tuesdays.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: The Within Sequence [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035471
Comments: 29
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Additional Chapter Warnings:** Non Consensual Mind Manipulation, Mention of Dead Relatives, Intent To Kill  
>   
> Please don't hesitate to make me aware of additional warnings I should add.

Roman grinned into the wind as it whipped his clothes and black hair. The salt spray nipped at his skin as the surrounding waves crashed into the schooner. The small crew was scurrying around, trying to keep the ship stable, but Roman couldn’t care less. There was something so magical about being out on the open, untamed sea. The full moon shone above him, fractured in the churning waves below. He closed his eyes as his hair lashed at his face, slave to the whips of wind barreling through the air.

He’d been doing this for years; it never seemed to get old. There was something just so majestic about the sea beneath and around him. The wildness, the courage, the danger. It beckoned Roman with every crash of a wave, every rock of the boat, every drop of sea spray that stung his skin. And he would oblige it soon. He wouldn’t be able to resist the call much longer. But he had to. As much as he adored the sea in all her glory, he had a mission to accomplish.

He kept his eyes and ears peeled, gazing out into the thrashing ocean. He didn’t expect to really see anything in the depths, but it didn’t hurt to look. Roman, as he was every full moon, was out searching for sirens. It had been a job passed down the generations, and now, he was the only Prince alive who could do it. His father had been killed a few years ago whilst hunting the beasts, and Roman had henceforth made it his mission to carry on the Prince legacy and make his father proud. He would not let him down. Yes, every month he traversed the waters for the sense of adventure he yearned for, but he also did it for his father. Each kill was an offering. A message.  _ I haven’t stopped father. I’ll do you proud. Just you wait. _

Each month he made it a point to bring back a different siren. Tails all sorts of colours and shapes, some more fish like, whilst others taking after sharks. Roman had caught nearly every species of siren under the sun. Except for one. The elusive eel subspecies. And just his luck, there was one that had been spotted, and he was determined to capture it. The villain had been terrorizing the waters for weeks, stealing fish from the fisherfolk, drowning humans, the like. Roman couldn’t wait to bring it to justice, the thought making him bounce with glee and anticipation.

His eyes scanned the churning depths below him, watching, waiting. 

“Come out, come out your fishy flotsam. You can’t hide from me forever.”

He heard it before he saw it. A smooth, hypnotic voice echoing from the waves. A calm song, one of curiosity, with an undertone of desire. He took a glance back at the crew, making sure they were all secured with paraffin. With a quick nod to the captain, he took a deep breath and dove down to meet the creature who’d been terrorizing his shore.

He’d been fighting siren songs for years thanks to his father and his training, and although this one was certainly stronger than most, it wasn’t that hard to shake off. But just for a dash of authenticity Roman leaned into the song ever so slightly, allowing his pupils to dilate and his mind to fog just enough, letting the slight pull in his chest lead him to his prey. He continued to dive, pressing forward, careful to make his act convincing.

The siren came into view, and Roman nearly gasped. He’d never seen an eel siren before, and he couldn’t tell if he adored it or despised it. It had a bright yellow tail that shifted and warped like a ribbon to keep it afloat; it had a speckling of brownish green along its tail which continued up the left side of its body; its left eye was completely black, as sirens’ eyes are during the full moon, but its right iris was a deep brown, the sclera grey as if trying to shift into black and failing halfway through. On its more human side it had the typical facial fin a mer is known to have, but on the eel side it was nowhere to be seen. Lastly, and most disturbingly, its teeth seemed to morph from a more human jawline with all pointed teeth at the right to long, thin teeth reminiscent of stalactites and stalagmites, gripping its gums as they pushed out from behind partially parted lips. They crowded the left side of its mouth, as if his body were trying to fit all of its mouth’s worth of teeth into just the left side.

It was horrifying to look at. This must be what happened to half-breeds. Sometimes two subspecies of siren got it in their heads it was okay to mate. What came of that was this monstrosity. This half siren half monster, this creature of nightmares. Roman fought the urge to wretch as he continued his entranced act. He swam closer to the creature, the comforting weight of his dagger against his thigh. Part of him thrilled at finding a half-breed. This was something his father never had the pleasure to catch. Roman would definitely prove his worth with this.  _ Father, if you’re watching from up there in the stars, get ready. This is gonna be the greatest victory in Prince history. _

It didn’t seem to suspect anything, golden iris emitting a faint glow as it approached him, its mouth pulled into some sick version of a grin. Roman felt his his gut churn. How anyone could find this mesmerizing, Roman had no idea. Still, he pressed forward until he was inches away from the beast. He reached to cup the face of it, repeatedly telling himself that it was for the greater good. It would all be over soon. He was a fantastic actor, but even the best have their limits, and he was reaching his. Its webbed hand came up on top of his, a hungry look in its eyes.

He was just about to reach for his dagger when the song shifted. It stopped its soft and delicate melody, shifting into something more passionate, intense. The surprise in the shift in melody was all it needed. Roman lost his composure, feeling his head fill with fog, the feeling in his chest becoming less of a slight tug and more of a strong pull. He fought against the magic, attempting to regain his capacity to think, but as soon as the siren cupped his face, it was all over.

What flashed before his eyes wasn’t the hideous monstrosity he’d been about to kill, but a young man, with stunning heterochromia, his yellow and hazel eyes bright with mischief. His warm brown hair cascaded around him in a halo, his glorious yellow tail shifting beneath him. His teeth were sharp, but nothing like the horrid mess of teeth Roman had seen him with before. He got the sense that this was what the creature truly looked like. The creature that was before him wasn’t always that monstrosity. He was once a beautiful young mer, captivating in all his youthful glory. Roman knew, full well, even if the man weren’t a siren, he’d still be under his spell. There was just something about the curvature of his torso and arms, the sharp angles of his face, the smoothness of his waist as it glided into his tail. He was the vision of a prince.

Roman, deep in the back of his mind, registered that he was suffering from illusion magic. A small part of his brain screamed at him to fight the fog, that what was before him wasn’t real. But it wasn’t enough in the end. Roman didn’t want to believe that the vision before him was just a figment of his imagination. So he ignored the voice, reaching up to cup the mer’s cheek just as he had before, this time in sincerity. Instead of the eel skin Roman had first seen him with, he had a port wine stain that cascaded down his left side. Once he made contact, he felt as if colour crashed into his world for the first time.

The vision, that almost appeared as just a painting, something you could look at but couldn’t touch, suddenly seemed all the more real. The mer’s lips quirked up in a mischievous smirk that did nothing to help the pounding that was in Roman chest already. The mer leaned in, inches from his face, eyes flicking to Roman’s lips.

“Follow me. I’ve something to show you.”

With that, he pulled away, leaving Roman crestfallen. He’d nearly kissed him; the mer was just playing with his heart. Something about that caused that pounding in his chest again, this time almost a spasm. He finally registered the words the mer had spoken, and quickly followed him into the depths. He had no idea where they were going, but Roman knew, in his heart and soul, that he would follow him to the ends of the earth.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Janus becomes uncertain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Chapter Warnings:** Mentions of Brainwashing, Manipulation, Blood

Janus dragged the hunter through the depths until they reached a cliff face not far from the fishing grounds he’d caught him in. He dragged him into a cave in the cliff face, setting him on the rocky floor. 

Janus wouldn’t kill the hunter, no matter how appealing the idea was. No, he was planning on doing something more productive; showing the hunter the light, and then making him his inside man. With Roman at his beck and call, he’d be able to protect the other mers that lived around, he’d be able to save lives, keep families together. It wasn’t brainwashing if you were in the right.

As he was waiting for the human to wake up, Janus couldn’t help but run a webbed hand along his spiny teeth. He wasn’t usually like this, but mers’ appearances shifted during the full moon and he was no exception. He was just unlucky enough to be a halfling, causing only a partial physical and mental transformation. He was still more powerful than usual during the full moon, but he was aware of it, and could still think relatively clearly, unlike other mers. Alongside that, he still shifted physically, but instead of his entire body doing so, it was only half of himself. Well, except for the eel skin that snaked its way along his torso, arm, and head. That was forever. But the eye and teeth weren’t.

For most mers, because their teeth only shifted slightly, it wasn’t typically painful; just exhausting. But when only part of your jaw rearranged itself every month, it was  _ not _ pleasant. It was excruciatingly uncomfortable to only have half of your teeth fit in your mouth. Though the half shift of his eyes he didn’t mind. It made him look sinister. And at least it wasn’t painful. After all it was only cosmetic, used to lure in prey. 

He glanced up at the moon. It was on its way to setting, but he still had a few hours stuck in his half transformed state.

A rustling came from the cliff face, and he turned towards his captive. The human was stirring. Janus rested his arms on the ledge of the rock, a casual expression across his features.

The hunter’s eyes fluttered as he took in his surroundings. He proceeded to cough up the water he’d ingested on the swim over, but seemed ultimately okay. It was interesting to see him with his eyes clear. They seemed determined, strong, almost valiant. But all that faded away when he locked onto Janus. The mer sighed. 

Janus, unlike most mers, was blessed with illusion magic. Or cursed, rather. His voice was still as good as any other mer’s, but it would mean nothing if the human he was captivating laid eyes on his partially transformed state in all it’s disturbing glory. So he was given illusion magic. Those he enchanted would see what he were to look like if he was a full mer.  _ That _ was what they fell for, not him. Some said he was blessed, but when Janus saw his prey fall for what he could never be, he hesitated to call it a blessing.

Once a human came in contact with him during the full moon, a chemical in his skin would be released and cause the victim to hallucinate. It only ever happened during the full moon, for that was when he looked the most monstrous. When it wasn’t full, he couldn’t release the chemical, rendering the magic unusable.

He put on a face, shoving his angst aside and smirked at the hunter. “And who might you be oh poor, unfortunate soul?” He purred.

“Roman.” The human breathed, flushing at Janus’s words. “Roman Prince.”

He nearly screeched in shock, eyes widening as he took in Roman Prince.  _ The _ Roman Prince. Son of Reymond Prince, the most feared siren hunter to date. He was famous for lulling sirens into a false sense of security before offing them in cold blood.  _ Roman could very well be doing the same. _ Suddenly, killing the human seemed like the better option after all.

He seemed to pick up on Janus’s shock, face falling as he asked, “What’s wrong? I didn’t mean to upset you.”

The siren sneered. “Quit faking it, I know you’re not under my spell.”

Roman just cocked his head to the side, a confused smile playing across his features. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I am surely under your spell. No creature would be able to resist when faced with beauty as captivating as yours.”

His brows knit in confusion.  _ Was he really faking it? If he was, wouldn’t he have killed me earlier? Maybe he really is captivated… I could test it, but how… What’s something that he would refuse to do if he weren’t under? _ His eyes found the dagger at Roman’s hip. He regained his cool and collected façade. “Roman, dear,” he could nearly feel the man shiver as he dragged a claw along his jawline. “Would you be so kind as to slit your wrist for me?”

“Only if you kiss it better.” He flirted, but picked up his blade and sliced it across his left wrist. He barely flinched, still gazing at Janus with lovesick eyes.

Well, that certainly proved it. The blood ran freely down his hand, a deep burgundy in the moonlight.

“I’ll only kiss you if you take care of that wound yourself.” Roman was no good to him injured. Even if it was just a slit wrist, Janus preferred him to be all well and healthy before he went on with converting him.

The siren watched with interest as Roman ripped a piece of his shirt, tying a tourniquet around his arm, doing his best to sterilize the wound with ocean water, then wrapping it in another scrap of fabric he’d ripped from his shirt. At this point Janus was beginning to realize that Roman looked rather dashing with only half a shirt. He quickly shoved those thoughts aside, focusing on the matter at hand.

“So?” Roman asked, tilting his head. “I was promised a kiss?”

“I never told you when.” Janus responded, smirking.

“What can I do to gain one? I’d do anything.” Roman state as he leaned closer to Janus, voice eager, almost desperate.

Janus was well aware. He, as most siren’s did, adored playing with his prey. But part of him didn’t want to. His mind kept wandering back to Roman’s clear eyes. His determination, his strength. He wanted to see more of that. Get to know more of that. But if he was to mold Roman in his agent, he’d have to break him apart. He’d have to watch as his resolve crumbled. Strip away the bravery and the valliance piece by agonizingly painful piece. The thought sent something ugly swirling in his gut, though he couldn’t place why.

Roman seemed to take his silence as a denial. “I will. I’d follow you to the ends of the earth if I had to. You're mesmerising. You're captivating. You’re all I want. Please, just tell me what I need to do.” The desperation was clear now, Roman’s pleading eyes staring into Janus mismatched ones.

That twisting in his gut only worsened at the words. It felt so wrong to see the subdued like this. To see him begging for something he hated. Janus should be relishing this moment, basking in the glory of captivating the son of one of the greatest hunters to sail the seas. 

But he wasn’t. 

He’d known the human for only a few hours, and barely knew what he was like. But that once glimpse of clarity was enough. It was enough to stir up something inside him, something he couldn’t just shove away.

“In due time.” He whispered, hoping his uncertainty didn’t come across in his words, and that it would be enough to quiet Roman for the time being.

The human only nodded, a hazy smile forming on his face at the idea of finally getting the kiss he’d been wanting since he’d dove into the water.

The mer turned away, not even daring to look anymore. He couldn’t. It just felt wrong. Janus wished he could leave. Escape. Be alone with his thoughts. But Roman would follow. They always did. And so, reluctantly,  _ painfully _ , he stayed. 

Through the night, he sat near the cave. He watched the moon set. He watched as Roman reluctantly went to sleep. He sat and he watched, bracing himself for the painful process of reverting back to his usual form. He focused on the concrete things around him, and the surety of his transformation. He focused on that, instead of the new feelings worming their way into his gut and chest. Instead of Roman’s pleading tone and his valiant eyes. Maybe the full moon did affect him. Maybe when it was over, once he was back to normal, the twisting in his gut and the ache in his chest would go away. He wrapped his arms around himself as the sky began to lighten.

He never was good at lying to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Roman has a breakdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Chapter Warnings:** Self Deprecating Thoughts, Miscommunication, Mentions of Murder

Roman awoke with stiffness in his joints and an aching in his back, the sharp tang of saltwater infiltrating his nostrils. He groggily rubbed his eyes, confused. His thoughts a speeding train, everything from the night came back to him in a rush. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real. He couldn’t have failed that easily. He looked down at his wrist, his gut churning at the affirmation.

Eyes red with fury, he looked around the cave and out into the calm waters that continued to the horizon. Nothing. That cursed siren couldn’t even bother to end his misery. It just left him here. Jaw tight, he made sure he still had his dagger and looked out to sea. His eyes strained to see islands or a ship or boat or _something,_ but all he saw was shifting blue.

He was trapped, who knows where, with nothing but a dagger and no way to get back. His brow furrowed as he pushed down the lump in his throat. He was _not_ going to cry. He was Roman Prince. And Princes didn’t cry.

Taking a deep breath, he turned to look into the cave. If he was going to die here, he might as well make it as cozy as possible. _Don’t think like that, Roman. You aren’t going to die. You’ll find a way out of this. You’re a Prince for heaven’s sake. You can’t let a weak little half-breed best you._

Sighing, he stood and dragged his hand along the walls of the cave. It wasn’t large, but it wasn’t cramped either. About the size of an average bedroom. There was a clear back and, unluckily it didn’t seem to be inhabited. Well, unlucky for food reasons, but very lucky because he did _not_ want to run into creepy crawlies along with everything else. He ran a hand through his hair, quickly pushing it back, disgusted with how matted it had become. That’s when the tears fell. It was just the cherry on top. He was stranded with no food _or_ water, nothing to show his father but empty hands, and he felt _utterly disgusting._

His sobs echoed through the cave, only reminding him of how incompetent he was. He’d tried _so hard,_ and just like everything else, he’d failed. He felt himself crumbling, the surrender creeping up quickly. Everything just seemed so hopeless. He had no idea where land was, so swimming was too risky. He was just stuck here. Doomed to become the lost Prince son, the one who ended the line of mighty hunters. 

_The failure._

Through all his crying, he didn’t hear the shifting of waves behind him. He didn’t realize he wasn’t alone until he felt a cold, wet hand on his leg. With a very undignified screech he stumbled back into the cave. His terror contorted to fury when he realized what he was looking at. It didn’t look like the monstrosity he’d seen last night, but it certainly didn’t look like the vision he’d hallucinated either. It kept its heterochromia, and the eel skin across its left side, but the repulsive amount of teeth in the left side of its mouth were gone, replaced by the usual, sharper teeth of a standard siren.

It looked at Roman with what appeared to be pity, and Roman wasn’t having any of it. He hadn’t sunk so low as to accept pity from this creature.

“What, did you come back here to watch me die?” He snarled.

It scoffed. “On the contrary, I brought you food. I’m not a monster.”

Roman laughed, the sound empty and humorous, tinged with the strain of crying. “I highly doubt that. Everything you did last night no human would have done.”

“Oh, because no human has completely manipulated another with false imagery and promises.” It snarked back, smirking at Roman’s stuttering.

“Oh shut up, you don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”

Empty words. The siren was right. But there was a difference. Sirens killed people. People didn’t. Well, that argument was really flimsy. But that didn’t matter. Sirens were monsters. It didn’t matter why, it just was.

“If you’re not going to eat that, I will.” It pointed to the raw fish it had brought back from who knows where.

Roman gulped, or tried to, he couldn’t really with his dehydration, and reluctantly grabbed ahold of the fish corpse. With a growing nausea, he pulled out his dagger and began to descale it. The idea of eating the fish was far from appetizing, but if it was what he had to do… He squeezed his eyes shut as he bit into the flesh. Once he felt the crunching of bones beneath his teeth he chucked the fish back into the water. Shuddering, he gagged, heaving over the bottomless blue. The siren had the _audacity_ to chuckle.

“I wouldn’t have expected the Great and Powerful Roman Prince to have such a weak stomach.”

“Forgive me if I’m not so savage as to stomach eating a raw fish with _bones_ and _eyes_ and _scales._ ” He shuddered again, just the thought of the sensation sending him into a frenzy.

The siren laughed, clearly enjoying his suffering. “Well, sweetheart, it’s all we’ve got. So unless you want to starve, you’ll just have to make due.”

Roman’s gut flipped at the pet name, and immediately shoved that feeling into the depths of his repressed emotions corner. “Well I’m _sorry_ I’m not a cannibal like you.”

“It’s not cannibalism if you’re a different species. I’m an eel, not a fish. For such a powerful hunter, you really don’t know much do you?” A triumphant smirk played across its features, reveling in Roman’s distress and frustration.

He glared, quickly getting fed up with the teasing. “I don’t need to know your eating habits, all I need to know is how to kill you.”

Its tone shifted into mock pity, its smile showing off its teeth. “And you couldn’t even do that could you? Oh, poor hunter, can’t even do his job. How pathetic.”

At that Roman was rendered speechless. He was pathetic wasn’t he? All he’d ever wanted to do was make his father proud and look where that had gotten him. Stranded with a siren, and his own horrible thoughts. He fought to push back the wall of tears, simply glaring at the siren, though it was nothing more than a feeble attempt.

It stopped. “I didn’t realize-”

“NO! You don’t get to apologize! Just kill me already! Quit playing with me, this isn’t fair! I’ve already failed, you don’t have to rub it in!” He scoffed. “I bet my suffering is SO fun to watch, but just get it over with already! I can’t handle this anymore!” He was full on sobbing now, his vision blurred with tears.

The siren’s voice was steady. “I’m not going to kill you.”

“W-what…?”

“I’m _not_ going to kill you. I never was.”

“T-then why’d you bring me here..?” He wiped at his eyes and nose, hesitantly looking back at the siren.

“That’s nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about.”

“Tell me.”

It sighed. “Another time. You’re probably dehydrated, and you’re definitely hungry. I’ll come back with more suitable food and water.”

“Why do you care…?”

It looked back at him with an expression Roman couldn’t decipher. “That’s the question isn’t it.” And with that, he dove back under the water, leaving Roman alone with his thoughts once more.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Roman and Janus learn more about each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Warnings:** Mention of Loss of Friends and Family

Janus loved swimming. He loved the feeling of the water tugging at his hair and flowing across his skin. He loved feeling the shift in the water as his tail propelled him forward. It was magical, something he never thought he wouldn’t enjoy. But here he was, swimming to pick up some food, numb to what used to cause him so much elation. The broken look on Roman’s face haunted his thoughts. It weighed down on him, an anchor dragging him further and further into the depths of his own mind. His attempts at comfort had backfired tremendously, and he could only hope that the food he’d be returning with was an ample peace offering.

The swim back was just as uneventful. His tail moved at a mundane pace, the colours flowing past him eliciting nothing but sighs as Janus’s thoughts tripped over themselves. Roman, Roman, _Roman._ What had happened to that brilliant hunter that he’d met hours before? Did Janus do this to him? Did he create the trenches of doubt and hopelessness that plagued Roman? Was this all his fault?

He tried to ignore the pit in his stomach upon seeing Roman, still curled in a fetal position. The man hid his head in his arms, knees tucked to his chest, as if that would shut out all the bad things in his world. Silently, Janus glided up to the cavity within the cliff, placing the container and fork on the rock, then sinking slightly into the water.

Roman didn’t notice the food at first, but upon seeing it he tore open the lid to the container and began shovelling the odd smelling substance into his mouth. His movements were desperate and ravenous. Janus’s chest smarted at the implications of Roman’s reaction. His head half submerged, he watched Roman finish his meal.

“Hungry, uh?” Janus teased.

“I wonder why.” The human deadpanned. 

Janus cringed infinitesimally. 

“Where’d you get this anyways?”

“I know a guy who’s dating a human.” The mer shrugged.

“Funny. I used to know a guy who was trying to court a siren.”

“Used to?”

He dared to move a little closer, resting his forearms on the edge of the platform. Roman eyed him, but didn’t make any more to back away. Janus smiled slightly. Small victories.

“Yeah. What’s it to you snake face?”

“Snake face?”

“Yeah.” The human’s expression was the physical equivalent of the word ‘duh.’ “Eels are just water snakes. And half of your face is eel, so snake face.”

Janus blinked, electing to not address the fact the human had just called him a ‘water snake.’

“So, what happened to this guy?”

Roman’s eyes shifted to the ground. “It’s a long story.”

“You’ve got time.”

He sighed. “I noticed that when we’d meet up he looked exhausted, and always seemed kind of tense around me. I pried, asking if everything was alright, but he’d just wave me off, claiming he’d worked late. This happened consistently for months and didn’t look like it was stopping anytime soon. So, I decided to follow him so I could figure out what was really going on.

“The guy was a workaholic, but he always kept a proper sleep schedule, so no way could it have been work. I followed him out to a cove near the coast and watched as he was headed towards a siren. I was about to warn him of what he was about to do, but I watched as he _shifted_ into one of them right before my eyes. 

“Like a good friend, I sailed out there and began to chew him out. He claimed he loved the creature and we got into this huge fight. After that we just… stopped talking. I’ve seen him around town, but I haven’t really seen him since.”

Janus watched as Roman talked. The human’s eyes lever left the ground. His voice was bitter, his shoulders and head bending as he tried to shrink into himself.

Janus had to actively fight against reaching out to rest a hand on Roman’s shoulder, wrapping him in a warm embrace of comforting words and light touches. He longed to just be there for the human, but the barrier of his still active prejudice prevented Janus from doing anything but stare. 

Janus wished to rip down the barrier piece by piece, showing that he was no more of a monster than Roman thought himself to be. To show him that his friend didn’t deserve to be abandoned just because of who he loved. He wished to tear it all down and watch as it disintegrated in Roman’s hands. To watch as the silt sifted through his fingers, the hatred in his eyes clearing and making way for something else.

Instead, all he did was speak.

“I understand.”

The human scoffed.

Janus continued anyway. “I had a friend, we were thick as thieves. He and I used to do everything together. And then one full moon, something changed. He’d sneak off at night, and eventually confessed that he was dating a human. I, of course, told him to be careful. He said he trusted the human, and I trusted his judgement. He seemed genuinely happy for the first time since I’d become friends with him.” The nostalgic smile melted from his face. “I started seeing him less and less. We still talk, and occasionally keep up, but not nearly as much as we used to.”

Despite wanting to break down the animosity that burned in Roman, Janus had to admit he was jealous of the human who stole the heart of his friend. He unknowingly stole his friend away, too, standing in the spot Janus once had, no one the wiser but the man he’d stolen from. But he couldn’t deny the way his friend looked at the world now. Cynical comments and guarded eyes made way for small smiles and excited tail swishes. The human had shown his best friend the light in the word, but at what cost? Janus knew full well that the world wasn’t back and white.

But it was so much easier to live that way.

When one began to see shades of grey, all of the words problems began to reveal themselves. Changing the focus on the lens he viewed life through, showing everything that was wrong with how things operated. Insisting that it was easier, and therefore better, to live in black and white. To live in ignorance, animosity curling in one’s heart like rose thorns, flowers blooming in the mind whispering sweet lies until the host knew nothing but ‘us’ and ‘them.’

_Why must it be so confusing?_

“That sucks.” Roman said after a while.

“Pardon?”

“I said that sucks. It sounds lonely.”

Janus laughed a little. “It is.”

Roman opened his mouth slightly, but closed it, pursing his lips.

The awkward end to the conversation left an uncomfortable silence hanging in the air. Janus raised his gaze to the sky. The colours streaked across the heavens above, the gradient of colours reminiscent of an expert painter’s strokes. The bright yellows and oranges of the wisps of cloud added a splash of warmth to the purples and blues that dripped from the world above into the cerulean ocean below. The hemisphere of the sun sunk into the ocean, leaving its other half rippling and distorted below. Janus couldn’t help but smile. Stealing a glance at Roman, he noticed the human couldn’t help it either.

“It’s getting dark.” he muttered, afraid to break the comforting silence that had settled between the two, “You should get some sleep. I’ll be back with food by the time you wake up.”

Roman nodded, retreating into the shadows. Janus left the containers near the entrance of Roman’s shelter for his friend’s partner to pick up later that night. 

He let himself be pulled under, sighing as the rock of the sea surrounding him convinced him to close his eyes. The ocean whispered as he felt himself slip into unconsciousness, promising protection and comfort for the days ahead.

The shifting of a boat roused Janus from his dozing. He peeked his head above the water as he watched the human exchange empty containers for full ones, and creeped into the cave, placing a rectangle of something fluffy and warm onto Roman looking before returning to his boat.

He placed his hand on the schooner, smiling gratefully up at the human. “Thank you, Logan.”

Logan nodded, eyes shining in return. “My pleasure. Do take care of him, and know that Virgil sends his regards. He insists we all meet up together. He and I, and you and your.. guest.”

Janus nodded, biting his lip as he watched Logan sail away. What _was_ Roman to him? Before, he was nothing but a tool, but now? Janus didn’t know. He shook his head, shoving those thoughts away in favour of sinking back into the ocean, and letting the waves rock him to sleep once more.

Quickly, the two fell into a routine. Roman would eat the food Logan brought, and he and Janus would talk or banter. Rinse, repeat. The more he talked with the human, the more he found he enjoyed his company. 

It was soon revealed that Roman adored Disney. Janus’s friend has mentioned it in passing before, but had never gone in depth about whatever it was. Once Roman discovered Janus was unfamiliar, he declared to make it his mission to introduce Janus to all things Disney. Janus would do wherever Roman wanted him to if he could continue to see him so invested. Once Disney was brought up, it was like he came alive. His eyes lit up and a grin spread across his face. He radiated passion and excitement, and he could talk for hours about the subject. Janus wouldn’t be able to stop him, even if he wanted to. He didn’t want to.

It was also learned that Roman Prince, Hunter of Sirens, did not have a perfect home life. His twin brother disappeared at the ripe age of eight, lost to the depths of the sea. The loss created a fissure in the Prince family, driving Reymond into despair. In his frenzy to keep himself afloat, he dove headfirst into his work, dragging Roman down with him as he did. Everything from that point on had been siren hunting. That was all they talked about. It was how they lived.

Every time Roman talked about his past, his shoulders locked up. He barely spoke above a whisper, eyes refusing to meet Janus’s. After Roman’s breakdown, Janus didn’t pry into his past. Everything he learned was information willingly given, though it was not easily shared.

Janus learned other things too. He discovered that at just the right angle, the sun’s rays would light up Roman’s cocoa irises, exposing the swatches of dark and light browns that the irises were painted in. His wavy black hair flowed from his scalp like water, cascading down to his shoulders in shining ebony waterfalls. That by the light of sunset, Roman’s deep brown skin glowed, starkly contrasting the pastels of the sky, making him all the more mesmerising.

He learned that Roman was a siren in human form. He would never forget the day he awoke to Roman singing. Tall vowels flowed into smooth consonants, strung together by a melody weaved from from his lips. The sounds flooded from his mouth, the warmth of the notes a stark contrast to Janus’s melodies of minor key. They wrapped him in warm embraces, told him stories of brave princes and devious dragons. Painted pictures of glorious kingdoms and epic journeys. 

All Janus wanted to do was join him. Sing along and feel as their notes intertwined, their melodies dancing around each other. Voices fading into each other, so complimentary, so in tune with one another, that their song became one.

But those were just dreams. A fantasy that would never come true.

And so Janus ignored the thoughts, focusing instead on the more pressing questions. As days bled into weeks, an unspoken question hung in the air. _When would Janus let Roman return home?_

In response to that, Janus did what he did best. Twisted words. He fabricated scenarios, claiming that it was safer if he kept Roman here. Which was true, but only just. After all, all lies stem from at least a little truth. And so Janus let the lies form, giving himself more and more reasons for Roman to stay.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Janus ignores his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Warnings:** Unreliable Narrator

“I’m sorry.” Roman said out of nowhere one afternoon.

He was resting against the side of his cavern, a shirt that Logan had dropped off one night discarded in favour of staying cool during the sweltering evening.

Janus, who was comfortably floating near the surface of the water, turned his head, brows raised. “Am I hearing things? Did you just  _ apologize? _ ” 

Roman, recognizing the teasing tone, scoffed, waving him off. “Oh shove off you overgrown water snake.” He smiled at Janus’s mock affronted expression. “I, uh, I was wrong. I guess sirens aren’t  _ all _ bad.”

All he could do was stare. He’d noticed Roman opening up to him, and had cherished the fact that their friendship was growing, but he could have never fathomed the human would actually  _ apologize. _ To him.

“Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies.” Roman smirked.

Janus drew his hands to his chest, letting out an offended noise, though the slight turn of his lips showed he wasn’t really upset.

“I am serious though..” Roman began after a small pause. “I misjudged you. I shouldn’t have. I’m not all buddy buddy with the rest of the sirens now, but, maybe you aren’t so bad..” He trailed off, refusing to look at Janus as he spoke.

He didn’t know how to feel about seeing Roman so.. apologetic. There wasn’t another word for it. And towards himself no less. So, decidedly ignoring tangled the mess of emotions that confession brought up, Janus changed the subject. “The full moon’s fast approaching. I’ll be gone for the next few days. My human acquaintance will drop by food while you’re gone.”

Despite everything, Logan and Roman still hadn’t met. Apparently Roman slept like a rock. And although he was worried about what would happen if he and Logan did meet face to face, Janus was much more concerned about what  _ he _ could do to Roman once the full moon came around.

“I thought you said you can control yourself around the full moon?” Roman asked, confused.

“I can, but I’d rather not risk anything. I don’t want to see you like  _ that _ again.” He looked down.

If he had looked up he would have seen Roman’s face shaped in both confusion, and something else that the owner himself couldn’t place. He would have seen the light flush along his cheeks at the idea of the mer caring about him. But Janus didn’t look, too wrapped up in his own memories to meet Roman’s eyes.

“Like what?” 

His shoulders fell as he sighed. “When you were under my influence before, all of the fight, the passion, the emotion, the things that made you  _ you, _ were gone. I hated seeing you like that. Willing to throw away your life for a mirage. So, to prevent that from happening again, I won’t be around you during the full moon. Just in case.”

What Janus didn’t admit was that his magic was harder to control if he didn’t have control of his emotions. That’s how nearly all magic was. If your emotions were unstable, you hold on your magic was, too. Hence why his friend had such a hard time with the shift every year. He was about as unstable as they came.

And now that Roman had entered Janus’s life, his feelings had gotten a whole lot harder to keep track of. The mer had a sneaking suspicion of what he was feeling, but refused to acknowledge it. He pushed all of his new feelings deep down into the inky blackness of the back of his mind. Unfortunately, a side effect of that was that he had to deal with looser grip on his magic.

Roman’s hand brushed the mer’s left shoulder in a comforting gesture. Janus recoiled. The human’s face crumpled, but smoothed out so quickly Janus almost thought he’d imagined it. Almost.

“I respect your decision, Jan.” Janus’s heart fluttered at the nickname “I hesitate to think about how I must’ve looked.” Roman grimaced, shuddering.

All he did in response was nod, repressing a shudder himself. He never wanted to see Roman like that again. Before he could despair about that night any longer, Janus hissed, his jaw smarting.

“What’s wrong?” Roman asked, his face painted with concern. He scooted forward to the edge of his cavern, dipping his bare feet in the cool water.

The mer just shook his head, waving Roman off. “Nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about.”

He watched as Roman’s mouth twisted, but eventually he shrugged it off with a muttered ‘whatever.’ 

_ Thank the Gods. _ Janus thought, internally relaxing. He’d already talked enough about how he actually ended up caring about Roman. All he needed was another weakness for the hunter to prey upon. Because that’s what Roman was. As much as Janus wanted to deny it, Roman was a hunter through and through. And Gods knew what he would do to Janus if he was reminded that the mer wasn’t as tame as he appeared to be.

It was true that Janus was fleeing Roman’s presence to keep the human safe. But, as per usual for Janus, it wasn’t the whole truth. It was also the fact that, as much as Janus had grown to trust Roman over the few weeks he’d known the human, he didn’t trust him completely. Which was a good call, seeing as he’d tried to kill Janus the day they’d met.

His brows furrowed as his thoughts shifted to Roman, not wanting to dwell on the ever growing pit in his stomach that squirmed every time he was reminded he was keeping things from the human. Said person was relaxing against the rock, his nose wrinkled ever so slightly, something he only ever did when he was lost in thought. The mer had noticed himself noticing the little things about Roman as the weeks progressed. 

Back was the pit in his gut, reminding him that he had yet to send him home. And though Roman had neglected to ask the question for the past few weeks, Janus couldn’t deny that the human was getting really antsy. He was nearly thankful when another bolt of pain shot up his jaw, causing him to curl into a fetal position, head ducking underwater. Above him Roman’s voice sounded, garbled by the churning waves.

He tried to ignore it, not wanting to even look at Roman anymore, but the blasted human reached into the water, tapping on Janus’s shoulder. He quickly rose, pushing his hair from his face and glaring daggers at him.

The other quickly backed away, hands raised. “Woah, hey, calm down Medusa. Stare at me any longer and I’ll turn to stone.” His joke fell flat. “Well, uhm, I just wanted to see if you’re okay.”

“I  _ told _ you-”

“Tell me the  _ truth, _ Jan.” Roman insisted.

Janus ignored the way his stomach felt like it had minnows flitting about in it at the fact that Roman had called him ‘Jan’ again. Others had done it before, so why did he react so strongly when  _ Roman _ did it? He shook his head slightly, allowing himself to surrender. He draped himself along the rocky edge of the cliffside cave, studying the stone. “ _ Fine. _ Do you remember what I looked like when we first met? Well, I don’t always look like that, clearly, therefore I transform every month. And as you can imagine, it isn’t pleasant in the slightest.”

“That really doesn’t seem all that fun.” Roman replied, his eyes flitting to the rising moon. The waxing gibbous was nearly full. Janus would have to leave by tomorrow morning.

The mer propped himself up on an elbow, looking at Roman. He couldn’t help the smile on his face as he admired the human yet again. He was beautiful in sunlight, it was where he belonged, but in the moonlight, he was gorgeous too. There was something about the silver light tracing his features that made Janus’s breath catch in his throat. The words slipped from his lips before he had time to register them.

“Kiss me.”

Janus’s face went beet red, and was about to backpedal as  _ fast as possible _ before Roman turned his head and leaned in. Their lips pressed together softly, not nearly as passionate as Janus would have expected, but nowhere near devoid of emotion. He leaned into the kiss, letting the feeling of Roman wash over him. The human’s hand rested against his. He wouldn’t have paid it any mind, but it slid up his arm resting on his shoulder, then around his neck, pulling him ever so slightly closer.

This brought him back to reality, shoving Roman back. The human looked a little dazed, and Janus felt something spear his heart. Janus had  _ made _ Roman kiss him. He dove into the water, not giving the other a change to regain his senses before disappearing.

He propelled himself forward, blinking back tears. Janus ignored the inky blacks and deep blues, feeling his heart crack with each swish of his tail. He’d  _ made Roman kiss him. _ He’d sworn to himself that he’d never take away the human’s will again. And here he was, only a few weeks later, going back on his promise. He wasn’t even supposed to be able to affect people with his magic until tomorrow. Maybe him not dealing with his feelings was having a stronger effect than he thought it would.

Janus pushed, not knowing where he was going, just determined to keep swimming. Keep swimming as far away from Roman as he possibly could. He focused on nothing but the  _ swish  _ of his tail and the comforting tug of the water around him. Further and further he swam, putting more and more distance between him and Roman.

The worst part about kissing him is that Janus had  _ liked _ it. He enjoyed drowning his victims, but never really cared much about the physical contact that came with it all. But just now, with  _ Roman, _ Janus has loved the feeling of the other’s lips against his. The gentle brush of fingertips across his knuckles. The soft sigh that slipped from Roman as they connected, the comforting hold of his hand draped around Janus’s neck. 

And it was fake.

A lie. A trick. A horrible, horrible complusion. None of it was real. Roman never really loved him, and he never would. Janus’s feelings would never be reciprocated, and all he’d be left with was the aching memory of something that wasn’t and that could never be.

The mer huffed slightly as he reached where he’d fled to. A winding cave system along the ocean floor. The jagged rock welcomed him, its looming walls pulling him into a comforting embrace. Memories played across his vision. Simpler times, when he and Virgil were still close. Games of hide and seek, drawings in the sand that were long washed away, and the corner where each would go after a long day. It was deep in the system, as far back as either of them dared to go. It was dark and cold and the most comforting place in their whole home. 

And there Janus sat, arms wrapped around his tail, tears spilling into the surrounding water, crying over something that could never be.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Roman leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Warnings:** Unreliable Narrator

Roman blinked away the fog, putting his fingers to his lips. Janus  _ kissed  _ him. Janus kissed  _ him. _ The giddy feeling welled up inside him, eliciting a giggle. It was quickly trampled by the fact that Janus had shoved him away. He looked out into the sea, not a trace that the mer had been there moments before. Roman hadn’t even gotten the chance to watch him go, so caught up in the fact that Janus had  _ kissed him. _

He sighed, letting his eyes flutter shut as he recalled the kiss. Janus had turned to him, demanding Roman to kiss him. Roman readily complied. Though, it wasn’t the compliance he’d felt during the full moon. There was a faint tug, but nothing like incessant pull of the fishing line he’d been caught on nearly a month ago. This was less of a tug and more of a nudge. A question. And Roman had answered in the affirmative. 

It wasn’t at all what Roman had expected. Not intense or controlling, it was soft, almost hesitant. A light passion coated in caution. It was gentle. It was perfect. 

And Janus had  _ shoved him away. _

Roman’s giddy delight made way for a cracking hurt. He stomped into his makeshift room, collapsing onto his nest of blankets and slammed his fist into his pillow. He held back tears, trying to convince himself that he was angry- no  _ furious _ with Janus. For leading him on, shoving him away, and running away. But all that he felt was hurt. Deep, aching, all consuming hurt.

He curled up into his blanket pile, pulling one over his head. Nothing made sense anymore. Where was the strong, courageous hunter he’d come into this situation as? Lost. Lost to the beautiful eyes and perfect skin and witty quips of a siren. A siren who’d just run away from him. He should be happy. Roman should be elated. He’d finally gotten rid of the thing he hated most. But all he felt was an aching in his chest. Because the one he’d fallen in love with had left-

_ Wait. _ Love? Oh  _ shit. _

Roman was in love with Janus. When the hell did that happen?! Although, it did explain a lot if Roman was being honest. The way Janus’s eyes sparkled with mischief as he messed with Roman, the way his hands moved when he talked, smooth and thorough. The way the sun sifted through his hair, copper strands nearly glowing, the way he looked at Roman when he talked. The way he listened. The way he  _ cared. _

But did he care at all? After today’s display of repulsion, Roman was hesitant to believe that he really did. He  _ wanted _ Janus to care.  _ So badly. _

_ He brings me food and water, he’s made this little cave into a second home for me. See? He cares. _ Roman reasoned.

_ He’s just doing that to keep you alive. Luring you into a false sense of security. _ A voice that sounded an awful lot like his father rebutted.

“Augh!” Roman slammed his pillow over his head, burrowing deeper into the blankets. Maybe if he hid, the thoughts, what happened today, everything would go away.

His eyes shot open. Janus had mentioned having another mer friend. What if Roman was just there to fill a role? But instead of that he was weighing Janus down, but Janus didn’t have the heart to return Roman to land. And so he was keeping him here instead of moving on, and hurting them both in the process.

The thought shattered Roman. He was nothing but a replacement. And a poor one at that. And then Janus had kissed him, maybe it was because he was trying to justify keeping Roman around. But when that didn’t work he shoved him away, leaving Roman on his own.

That must have been it. His shoulders slumped, the tears he’d been holding back finally running down his face. Roman didn’t even wipe them away. He let them fall, wallowing in the fact that Janus had never truly cared. 

That Roman  _ loved _ him, and that the love he felt would forever be unrequited.

He let the emotions swallow him whole, did nothing as he fell deeper and deeper into his pit of despair. He didn’t know how long he sat there crying. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours. He refused to look behind him at the sky to tell. He just sat, curled in a fetal position, back turned to the opening of the cave, sobbing.

Eventually his sobs turned to sniffles, his tear tracks started to dry, and his head began to clear. He was  _ exhausted. _ He inhaled heavily, sitting up and turning to the mouth of the cavern. The sun had set, but the moon was nowhere to be found. Looks like he was crying for hours. The sky and the sea sat before him, an expanse of endless blue. The sea was silent. Roman was grateful. At least it respected his mourning.

Something caught his eye on the horizon. A small boat, white sails standing out against the dark of the sky and sea. 

Janus mentioned a human friend who would bring him food and blankets and things from a schooner. This must be the friend. Which means, Roman could leave. He could let Janus be, allow the mer to work through his issues and he himself could be free. He’d been aching for freedom for ages, but somehow the idea seemed less appealing than before. He shoved that aside, turning to his little room and gathering what he’d take back to land. A pillow, one blanket, and the shampoo that was brought. It was surprisingly high quality. He gathered the materials in his hands, sat on the ledge of the rock and waited.

He watched with bated breath as the schooner came closer. And closer. And closer. It inched forward, moving at a snail’s pace. Roman willed it to move faster, which surprisingly did something. The small ship sped up slightly. He fist pumped the air. Who knew sheer will could actually do something! 

And finally,  _ finally, _ the schooner pulled up to the ledge.

Roman stared, stunned. “Logan?”

The other’s lips turned up slightly. He adjusted his browline glasses, his dark brown, nearly black, hair falling over his face. It was odd to see, as Logan usually slicked his hair back. He was also missing his usual tie, instead wearing a black button down rolled up to the sleeves. Roman could see patches of shimmering blue scales on his forearms, and noticed that his ear tips were pointed.

He was stunned. Roman couldn’t believe that Logan was  _ helping _ him, after everything that Roman had done. Though, maybe he wasn’t helping  _ Roman, _ but Janus. It would make more sense. But Logan looked happy to see him, so he shoved that thought aside.

So many questions swirled around Roman’s head, each one fighting to be answered first. What came out was, “You’re Janus’s friend?!”

The other chuckled slightly, nodding. “I am. I didn’t expect you to be up this late. What are you doing?”

His heart immediately sunk to his feet at the reminder of what he was doing. Roman refused to meet Logan’s eyes as he spoke. “Leaving. If you’ll let me.  _ Please _ Logan. Let me return to land. It’s best for both me and Jan. I thought we both enjoyed each other’s company, but it appears that it was only I who thoroughly enjoyed his. Just,  _ please. _ I don’t want to do any more damage.”

The silence dragged on for what felt like millennia. Eventually, Logan sighed. Roman looked up and watched him gesture for Roman to board. He dragged his feet the whole way, willing himself not to look back. He knew if he did, he would never leave. And he had to. It was what’s best for the both of them.

In the dead of night, with the near full moon hanging heavy above the sea, a schooner made its way silently to shore.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Janus finds Roman missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Warnings:** Mentions of Death as a Possible Outcome(there will be no major character death)

A thoroughly miserable full moon later and Janus was back on his way to patch things up with Roman. He hoped to the moon and back that the human he’d grown to love would forgive him; would understand. That they could move forward. Everything would go back to normal. Roman would be his perfect self, Janus would pine in silence, and things would be okay again.

Everything would be okay again.

The lie echoed hollowly in his head.

A sharp breath pressed through his lips as he shook his head, bubbles floating up to the water surface. It was no use thinking like that. His relationship with Roman wasn’t all lost. If Janus was anything he was charismatic. He could use that to stitch their relationship together, hoping that the thin thread of his words was enough to hold the cliffsides of their worlds together. 

_ It will be. _ He told himself.  _ It will be enough. _

Their relationship could be salvaged. And in time, rebuilt. All it would take was time and patience. And Janus had plenty of that. 

He let out another sigh as his tail flicked through the water. He was utterly sick and tired of being lost in his thoughts. Wrapped up in the seaweed restraints of his own mind, trapping him in a place that was once so familiar. What had happened? 

That answer was easy.  _ Roman _ had happened. He had forced Janus to grow accustomed to a quiet mind. To bright thoughts and freedom to move through life with a light he’d never seen before. And now that Roman was gone, Janus’s old bonds suddenly seemed that much tighter. The once comforting tug of his self deprecating thoughts felt more like a yank, its grip no longer pleasant but cold and biting.

Curse Roman with his ever positive affirmations and can-do attitude. He’d even ruined Janus’s brooding.

His mouth twitched against his will at the thought of his cheery companion. Who, even in the face of all the pain and grief he’d experienced, still came out humming a cheery tune between upturned lips. Janua felt a little spring in his swish at the thought of seeing Roman again. Everything would work out. Roman wouldn’t give the situation any other choice.

His chest spasmed when he breeched the surface.

The cavern was empty.

A couple of blankets lay strewn haphazardly along the rocky floor, but that was it. Nothing but jagged grey walls, sharp rocks, and, most importantly,  _ no trace  _ of Roman. The hair product bottles were gone, as were his royal red pillow and his favourite fuzzy red and gold blanket. Everything that made the cave Roman’s was gone. 

_ Roman _ was gone.

And all because Janus had been selfish enough to ask for a kiss.

He didn’t even realize he was crying until his webbed fingers were wiping away his tears. His cheeks didn’t stay dry for long. The cork had loosened once again, the haphazard dam he’d repaired just days before crashing down once again. The floodgates opening with no sign of ever stopping, mixing saltwater with saltwater until the taste of the sea was indistinguishable from the taste of his own regret.

He hesitantly reached forward, upper torso against the craggy rock, snatching a spare blanket from the ground. A coarse navy blue square of fabric that Logan had brought over in the first couple weeks of Roman’s stay. He buried his face in the scratchy blanket, brows contorting further at the familiar scent of Roman. 

Before long, it was utterly soaked in tears and seawater, nothing but a soggy cloth to pick up his broken pieces. Even when it was soaked through, Janus didn’t relinquish his grip on it. He just needed something,  _ something, _ to remind him of the man he’d both literally and figuratively pushed away.

Amidst his crying, something scratched at the back of his mind. A little detail; the connecting factor in all of this.

His head shot up as one word burst into his mind like a wave crashing overhead. 

_ Logan. _

Roman must have left with Logan. Boarded the ship when he’d arrived to drop off food. He could very well even be staying with the man. A hopeful grin spread across his face. He did nothing to repress it.

A splash echoed in the silent midmorning air, a soaked, navy blue blanket left forgotten in a cliffside cavern. 

Janus’s tail snapped back and forth as he propelled himself forward as fast as he could muster. And when he’d reached his limit, he pushed even harder. He needed to get to Logan and Virgil’s cove. He needed to  _ fix this. _ His thoughts swirled around in a cacophony of letters, his questions like coral caught in the ever spinning rampage of a tsunami.

_ Was Roman okay? Would Janus be able to get Logan to listen to Roman when he arrived? Would he even like Logan and Virgil? What if he wasn’t staying with them anymore? Did he have any other place to live?  _

_ Did he miss Janus at all? _

Janus’s surroundings were a blur, smudges of colour as he passed by brightly coloured reefs, the endless blue fading into wisps of reds, yellows, and greens. He could feel the slick feeling of oil polluted water along his skin, mouth turning into a grimace. He pressed forward. Soon enough, after what felt like an eternity and no time at all, Janus arrived at Logan and Virgil’s cove.

He breeched the surface with the aggression of a hunting great white, collapsing against the smooth stone. A shriek echoed around the walls of the residence. Janus couldn’t care less. His limbs ached, his head both dizzy and packed so full of thoughts it felt heavy. After a few deep breaths his head began to clear, making him aware that the blur waving in front of him was a hand. Janus blinked blearily at the half mer above him, his bespectacled features painted with concern. Before Janus had a chance to speak, he was  _ yanked _ underwater.

“Don’t  _ do that! _ ” Virgil shrieked. “You can’t just  _ appear _ like that! That’s my job!”

“Nice to see you, too, Virge.” Janus muttered, chest still working to regain the air it lost in the rapid swim over.

Virgil scoffed, casually shoving Janus further down. The halfling just rolled his eyes, returning to the surface.

“Janus, to what do we owe the visit?” Logan inquired.

His face fell. “I.. I came here to fix things. Something happened with Roman and I, and I was hoping to patch things up with him when I returned to our cavern. He wasn’t there, so I assumed he’d boarded your ship and had taken a ride to shore.” Janus explained. “Is he.. Is he here..?” 

A soft shake of Virgil’s head was all it took for his heart to sink. “No, he booked it once Logan got the schooner back to shore. Lo assumes he went home, but we don’t know for sure.”

“He went home..?” Janus’s voice sounded too small and fragile to possibly be his. “Logan, Virge, help me out. I have to find him. I  _ need _ to apologize.”

Logan sighed, muttering something about useless gay shenanagains before turning to Virgil. “Starshine, will you let Janus use one of your potions.”

“ _ Fine. _ ” Virgil huffed, his purple hair falling into his eyes. “ _ BUT, _ ” he turned on Janus, eyes dark and serious. “You will not stay on land any longer than three hours,  _ got it? _ I am not gonna have you dying because you fucked things up with your human boyfriend. If you can’t find him, you can look again some other time.  _ No longer than three hours. _ I  _ do not _ want to end up carrying your broken body out to sea.”

“I swear I won’t stay longer than three hours, Virgil.” Janus bowed his head, confirming the promise.

“ _ Good. _ ” He snapped before diving beneath the lapping waves.

A small scratching caught his attention as Logan scrawled something along a lined sheet of paper. After a questioning look from Janus he elaborated, “The address of Roman’s residence. It is located inland, so be careful. And do make sure you keep your promise to Virgil. I share his fondness for you, and would loathe to see you never come out of this venture alive.”

A humorless laugh escaped Janus. “Yeah, I’d like to stay alive, too. Don’t worry Logan, I’ll stay alive. If I don’t, Virgil will come find me and kill me himself.”

“Damn right I will.”

Virgil handed Janus a spherical glass bottle filled nearly to the brim with a shimmering blue liquid shifting in it. It looked like a miniature starry sky trapped in a bottle, swirling and churning before his eyes. Janus took it in his hands, mesmerized by the potion.

“Thank you.” He muttered, tugging his eyes away from the liquid. “I’ll come home safe.”

“Yeah, just go get your man back.” Virgil knocked his shoulder against Janus’s, a small smile playing across his lips.

Janus uncorked the bottle, taking a deep breath. He tossed the contents of the bottle back before he could second guess anything, nearling coughing it all up in the process. It burned down his throat, the heat of the potion igniting a fire of determination in his gold and hazel eyes.

_ I’m coming Roman. _ He thought, a confident smirk making its way across his face.  _ I’m going to fix things. I swear it. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Roman and Janus have a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Warnings:** Loss of Consciousness, Fear Of Major Character Death(I remind you no one will die), Misunderstandings

_ There was a splash and a hiss as Logan and Roman pulled into the cove. Roman’s head snapped down to the purple siren baring its teeth at him, brows contorting in rage. He stumbled back into Logan, nearly knocking the both of them overboard. _

_ “Virgil, don’t hiss at our guests.” Logan scolded _

_ The siren’s eyes snapped to Logan, “But he’s-” _

_ “I’m aware, Virgil. You must let it be, things will play out in time.” _

_ Virgil growled, but reluctantly sank into the black water below. _

_ “What was that all about?” Roman asked, turning to Logan. _

_ He just shook his head. “Don’t concern yourself with his antics.” Logan brushed him off with a vague hand gesture. “I’ve contacted Patton and he’s happy to house you until you find new living quarters.” _

_ Roman sighed, a massive wave exhaustion and sadness crashing over him. He collected his things from the deck of the schooner, travelling further inland.  _

_ At the beach’s edge, he took one look back into the calm waters spreading out into the horizon. He spoke softly, his voice was nothing but a breeze. One word that finalized everything. One word that made it all real.  _

_ One word that sealed his fate. _

_ “Goodbye.” _

* * *

Roman flopped happily onto Patton’s guest bed, relishing in the feeling of cleanliness he hadn’t truly felt in  _ ages. _ He soaked in the scent of his floral shampoo and conditioner, running fingers along his smooth skin, utterly elated that all of the dirt and grime he’d collected was all washed down the drain.

But, not everything could be that easy. Although all of the sticky residue of dirt was gone, thoughts of Janus still held on firmly to his mind like barnacles on a ship. No matter what, Roman always came back to their time together. He’d felt miserable and disgusting during all of it, but somehow talking with Janus had made him forget his condition. It seemed as though everything melted away when he talked, drawing Roman in with sly, genuine smiles and lilting words.

It had only been a few days since he’d left, but the ache had only gotten worse. The crack in his heart that had formed when he left was now the size of the Marianas Trench. So deep and cold and utterly unfillable.

Roman knew he should be happy. He got what he wanted. He was free. Away from the siren that had lured him in. 

But the thing was, he  _ wasn’t _ free.

He was still shackled by memories of Janus. Long conversations and bright eyes, delicate movements and that  _ damned kiss. _ Dragging him deeper and deeper into the trench that had formed in his heart, the ache of the lack of his friend like cold sea water that seeped into his skin and froze his bones. He wondered how long he’d be stuck at the bottom of this ocean, forced to replay memories of better times. Memories of happiness, the first he’d felt in a  _ very _ long time.

Roman threw himself out of bed, storming towards the living room. He  _ had  _ to stop wallowing. If only he had Patton here to distract him. His bubbly friend always knew how to cheer him up.

He collapsed on the couch, throwing his head back and sighing. If only he had his phone. Whenever he was feeling under the weather, he’d sing. It always helped, there was something so cathartic about belting lyrics. It seemed that all emotion that plagued him was expelled through his voice. It always calmed him down, always made him feel better.

But alas, he’d left his phone at his apartment, which was apparently no longer his. Turns out he was out at sea longer than he thought. And so he was stuck, sinking into the soft cushions of Patton’s couch.  _ Wallowing. _

A sudden knock out the door caused him to tumble off the couch, nearly crashing into the coffee table. He skittered to his feet, rushing to open the door. “Oh thank  _ God _ Patton, you’re back. I’ve been-  _ You’re _ not Patton.”

There, in his doorway, stood Janus. His ear fins were gone, human ears in place of them. His eel skin was now a port wine stain, though his left eye was still as golden as ever. He stood on shaky legs, face slightly pale, brows just barely furrowed. It looked like he’d borrowed some of Logan’s clothing, the black button down and grey slacks just tight enough to do something to Roman. He felt heat rise to his cheeks as he stared, completely awestruck.

“May I come in?” He asked, voice smooth and level as ever. Almost too much so.

Roman, not trusting himself to speak, nodded and gestured towards the couch. He shut the door behind Janus, following him to where he himself had just been laying. He watched with slight amusement as the mer nearly fell onto the couch, cursing and muttering about human anatomy.

He exhaled sharply, dragging his hands along his face. “Roman, I’m so sorry. I fucked up. I didn’t mean to compel you to kiss me and-”

“No you didn’t.”

Janus stared at him like he’d just grown another head. “What.”

“You didn’t compel me to kiss you..” Roman muttered, eyes studying the cat socks Patton had let him have. “I mean, maybe you did. But it was more of a question than a demand. I kissed you because I wanted to.”

Everything was silent for a beat. “Why’d you leave, then?” Janus asked tentatively, his shoulders curled in, eyes fixed on the floor. He was typically so confident and suave, hearing him so timid just felt so  _ wrong. _

“I left.. I left because I realized that you just kept me around because Virgil left. And that I was just filling a hole-”

“You insult me.”

Roman sputtered. “What?”

“You insult me.” Janus deadpanned, eyes dull. “I would never keep someone around ‘just to fill a hole.’ I kept you around because I legitimately enjoy your company, not because you're some replacement.”

“You.. you mean that?”

Janus delicately placed his hand along Roman’s neck, thumb brushing his cheekbone. He had on gloves for some reason, and Roman couldn’t help but miss the contact that wasn’t obscured by the fabric. “Of course, Roman. I…” He glanced down, eventually finding his way back up to Roman’s eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He whispered, placing his own hand on Janus’s, his entire body buzzing with delight.

The mer’s eyes fluttered, irises rolling back to reveal the stark white of his scleras. “I’m sorry.” He breathed before collapsing onto Roman, body limp and unresponsive.

“Janus? Janus?!” Roman shook him, panic welling up in his chest, its cold hands closing around his throat. He really wished he had a phone right about now.

“Fucking dramatic bitch, feinting right after a confession. I’m supposed to be the dramatic one you bastard.” He bit out as he spotted the landline across the hall. He’d never been more thankful for Patton and his Dad aesthetic.

He rushed over to the phone, quickly dialing Logan’s number. “Come on, come on, come on!” His leg bounced as he kept glancing back at Janus, unconscious on the couch.

“Patton? What is it you need?”

“Logan, Janus passed out on me and I don’t know what to do  _ help me! _ ”

“Shit. Does he have a pulse?”

“Um.. I don’t know, let me check.” 

He let the phone fall, the plastic hitting the wall with a resounding  _ crack _ . Roman quickly put his fingers just underneath Janus’s jaw, praying to whatever God was listening that he wasn’t dead. His shoulders slumped in relief as he felt a faint beat beneath his fingers. Rushing back to the phone, he fumbled for the receiver, hands shaking so hard he almost couldn’t keep hold of it. “It’s there. It’s barely there, but he has a pulse.”

“Good.” Logan said, speech clipped. “I’ll be over there as fast as I can. We need to get him in the ocean as  _ fast as possible _ . Stay where you are and update me if his condition changes. Understand?”

Roman nodded, then remembering Logan couldn’t see him, said. “Got it. Hurry, Logan. I can’t lose him.”

“You won’t.” He said, voice firm and confident. 

“Okay.” Roman muttered, hanging up the phone and trudging over to the couch. 

He sat down, biting his lip as he stared as Janus. All their time together flashed through his mind, scene after scene of wonderful time spent with a wonderful being. Roman hoped those wouldn’t be the last of his happy memories with the mer. He maneuvered his head in his lap, carding his fingers through Janus’s somehow smooth hair, holding back tears as best he could.

Now all he had to do was wait.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Janus begins to fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Warnings:** None(just a reminder, this isn't tagged with _Major Character Death,_ Janus will be okay)

Janus’s whole body throbbed. He could feel the blood pumping through his skull, dislodging his brain with each beat. His tail and chest ached, every shallow inhale sending strikes of pain through his ribs. Every brush of fabric across his skin felt like some dragged rock shards along his flesh. Each small movement brought a new wave of pain over his hypersensitive skin.

He whimpered as he was jostled(was he moving?), wanting desperately to stop moving. He tried to curl up, but his limbs and tail were too sore to obey his orders. His head pounding increased, apparently completely against any sort of intentional physical movement. The constant rumble of whatever was moving him drilled into his ears; it was almost as bad as the two horribly loud voices above him.

Something about the voices seemed familiar.

One was confident and strong, and the flow of the words reminded him of a siren. Was he with another siren? 

The other was staccato and precise, it was deeper than the first, and it worked to emphasize the beauty of the first voice. 

If Janus could smile he would have.

He wasn’t sure what these two voices were saying, but he could listen to the almost-siren one for ages. Something about it felt like home. 

The voices progressively began to get louder, if that was even possible, and more tense as time passed. He didn’t like the new edge the flowy voice had taken on. Janus wanted to fix that. Tell the voice that it was going to be alright, whatever _it_ was. 

He hated how broken the voice sounded. 

Memories tugged at the edges of his thoughts, just far enough away that he couldn’t grasp them. The pounding in his head was starting to become unbearable. He wished he could move, could comfort the voice, could do _something._

But the darkness started moving in, and with it, a comfortable numbness. He let his body relax, let the blackness seep in from the edges of his mind, letting out a sigh as the pain started to fade.

As it washed over him, he peacefully slipped away.

* * *

A faint whine slipped from his lips as he was jostled. He felt himself being pulled in every direction, uncomfortable grips under his arms and around his ankles. Sharp fabric dug into his skin, ripping at his flesh and sending more pain shooting through his body. His head ached, each breath he took was laborious, his tongue felt too heavy in his desert dry mouth.

His face felt too hot, his head somehow pulsing and feeling too hazy at the same time. He wanted to figure out why, but even thinking took work. Thoughts flitted by, slipping into the mist and the throbbing haze.

The same voices as before(did he know them? they sounded achingly familiar), blurred into each other above him as he was tugged and pulled in every which way. He tried to fight back, only resulting in his headache getting even worse somehow, the barbs that were the cloth causing even more damage as it dragged along him. 

A sharp jostle and everything turned busy, consumed by buzzing minnows flying across his vision(were his eyes even open?). So much noise, so much pain.

So much.

His head lolled back as he faded into the blackness once more.

* * *

His eyebrows scrunched together as he registered someone yelling.

Wait. He knew that voice.

_Roman._

He quickly tried to turn his head, a bolt of pain shooting up from his neck, though he hadn’t moved an inch. All of the aching, and throbbing, and grating cascaded over him. He tried to curl in on himself, only resulting in more sharp bolts through his skin, and this time up his tail(did he have two now?), too. A pained sound got lost in his throat, the dryness of his mouth spreading like plague down esophagus. Each inhale felt like a knife carving its way down his windpipe.

He wanted to open his eyes, to check on Roman, to make sure everything was alright.

Instead, he listened, helpless, as the wordless voices echoed around him. Rough shouts and fearful vowels towered over even tones and sharp consonants. The two fought with each other, both trying to gain control of the other.

It made Janus’s head hurt.

It made Janu's heart hurt.

He felt the cool blackness return, reaching up to pull him under. 

He wanted to hesitate. To stay. To try and listen to Roman. 

He didn’t.

He couldn't.

When the darkness came, he slipped into it, sinking into the ocean.

* * *

A broken sigh fell from his lips as he registered the feeling of something cool against his bare back. His tail still ached with the uncomfortable assault of… something. But his back was free of whatever it was that was causing him pain, and he was all the happier because of it.

A voice was singing.

It was so beautiful. 

Filled to the brim with so much emotion--pain, fear, longing, _love_. 

If Janus could smile he would. 

That voice would make a good siren one day. Maybe he would get a chance to meet the owner. They would sing together, vocals perfectly twining together, creating the most luxurious of songs.

That would be nice.

Maybe one day.

Distantly, he felt something shift in him. A piece of his heart sliding back into place. 

The pain began to ebb, making way for simple exhaustion.

The beautiful voice wrapped him in a comforting embrace, its vocals carding through his hair and brushing across his skin in perfect, feather light touches.

The blackness returned, pulling him under the lapping waves, soothing him to sleep.

And when the voice followed him into the deep, he merely took its hand.

They sunk into black together.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Roman falls silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional Warnings contain spoilers, check the end notes to read them.

Logan arrived too soon and not soon enough. He didn’t bother knocking, just throwing open the door and nearly giving Roman a heart attack in the process.

Roman’s heart was boiling. It sunk to his stomach, bubbling up into his throat as time wore on. He wasn’t quite sure how that worked, but he wasn’t about to look into the science behind that now. Or ever, if he was being honest with himself.

Roman delicately picked up Janus, one hand around the mer’s shoulders and the other hand beneath his knees, once he’d recovered from his mini heart attack. Logan gave him a curt nod, his lips pressed into a thin line. He didn’t say anything as he rushed from the house to his car, Roman hot on his heels. He opened the car door as Roman lowered Janus into the back seat, then hopped into the passenger seat himself. Logan followed swiftly, turning the key before Roman had the chance to put on his seatbelt.

Silence hung heavy in the air. Roman fidgeted. His left leg bounced. His right hand tapped a rhythm on his right knee. His left hand pushed itself through his hair every so often. 

Logan merely kept his eyes on the road, expression stoic and unreadable as ever.

“What happened?” Roman eventually asked, wincing as his voice broke.

“What do you mean?” 

“How did Janus get on land? Why did he pass out?”

Another question hung in the air between them.

_ Would Janus survive? _

“Virgil gave him one of our potions.” Logan explained. “He was supposed to be back in the ocean before the three hour mark. Clearly, he wasn’t. His body is now rapidly deteriorating. It’s not built for land, and the side effects of being without saltwater are starting to occur.”

The car was silent for a beat. “Will he wake up when we get him back into the ocean?” Hesitance dripped from Roman’s words.

“He should.”

Suddenly his heart wasn’t just sitting in his stomach and throat anymore. It was beating too hard in his chest, pressing against his windpipe. His mind whirled with what Logan had just said. It was the Logan equivalent of ‘I don’t know.’ The panic swiftly mixed with anger; a deadly concoction.

“He  _ should?! _ ” Roman’s voice was shrill in his ears. “Logan how the  _ hell _ could you have let him on land if-”

“I  _ trusted _ him, Roman. He said he would return and I believed him. This isn’t my fault. It isn’t his either.”

Silence. The anger quickly fled from Roman, making way for exhaustion. It was all too much. His eyes burned. His hands shook. He felt restless. He felt like he couldn’t move. His hands came to his face, pressing into his eyes as if it would keep the tears from falling.

“He’ll be okay.” Logan muttered.

The words were empty. Roman let himself believe them anyway. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to keep going if he didn’t. And so he let Logan’s reassurance wash over him, hoping-- _ praying _ \--that everything would be okay.

The rest of the drive was silent.

The car clicked off and Logan got out of the driver’s seat. Roman followed, walking around to the back and carefully lifting Janus from the seats. He was paler than usual, a sheen of sweat across his forehead. His lips were barely parted, and his brows were ever so slightly pulled together. He looked like he was in pain. He looked lifeless.

Roman’s chest spasmed, and he tore his eyes from his friend. He reluctantly followed Logan into his cove. Their footsteps echoed off of the walls, the blue of the water reflecting eerily across the ceiling. It looked like something out of a fantasy novel. Roman wished he had the energy to appreciate it.

Logan stepped forward and helped him lower Janus onto a slanted piece of rock. Virgil was silent as he watched. Logan said that it would be more likely for Janus to come in contact with water if he was on a slant. Some sciency reason or whatever. Roman wasn’t sure if he believed Logan, but he went along with what he said anyways. It wouldn’t make much difference in the long run, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try everything before giving up.

Logan’s deep inhale dragged Roman from his haze. “There’s something you need to know, Roman.”

He sluggishly looked at him. “Yeah?” His voice so small, so tired. He hated it.

“Virgil and I have been thinking, and we’ve come to a conclusion. We.. we have a theory. You’ve mentioned how you never knew your mother.” Roman stiffened. Logan continued. “You’ve talked about how your brother suddenly disappeared one day. How you’ve always felt drawn to the ocean.”

“Stop..” Roman pleaded.

“How you just felt freer out in the open. When we were closer, you used to sing all the time. You mentioned how it was cathartic. How it helped expel energy and-”

“Logan STOP IT!” He yelled, wanting to shut the idea down before it took root in his mind.

It was too late. It really did make sense. It shouldn’t have.  _ It shouldn’t have made sense. _ But it did. Despite this, Roman shoved the whole thought away. He slammed it in the trunk where he kept thoughts of his mother and brother, sending it away to rot in the catacombs of his mind, never to be touched again.

“You’re wrong!” He stepped towards Logan, his face reddening. “You’re  _ wrong! _ I’m  _ human! _ ”

Logan kept going. “If Virgil and I are correct, and judging by your reaction we are, that means we have a way to save Janus. A siren’s voice is like a soul. It’s the essence of their magic. It doesn’t necessarily keep them alive, but it’s where the magic flows from, and where all magic returns. But it’s not needed to survive. Some sirens were born without voices, others lost theirs to deals gone sour. But there are some, a select few, who give their voice away.

“Siren magic is inherently dangerous. It’s intended purpose is to seduce and kill. But it can have healing properties. If a siren willingly gives their voice away, the act of selflessness shifts the magic into something good. But it comes with a price. Mutism.”

Logan’s words sifted into the air, sinking into Roman’s thoughts. His chest bubbled and his temper flared. “Well if anyone can do it, why can’t Virgil?! We know for  _ sure _ that he’s a siren, it eliminates all risk!” He gestured to the siren, only to find him not there. Roman face contorted in fury, his eyes alight and blazing, his teeth bared as he snarled.

Logan held his hands in front of him placatingly as he tried to reason with Roman. “It does eliminate risk, but sirens are inherently selfish creatures. They aren’t human. Because you’re most likely half siren, it’s much reasonable to ask you to save Janus. Virgil, although he loves his friend and would-”

“ _ Don’t you DARE defend him! _ ” Roman screamed, whirling on Logan. “ _ Don’t make it seem like him refusing to save Janus is OKAY! _ ”

“I’m not, I’m explaining-” Logan exhaled sharply, abandoning his defense. “Emotions are high.” He said instead. “You’d probably do best with some time alone. We all would.” And with that, Logan briskly walked from the cove, his crisp footsteps signaling his departure.

Roman shrieked.

His knees gave out from beneath him, his body crashing onto sharp rock. Janus’s lifeless body lay next to him, the water lapping hesitantly as his figure. His chest was just barely rising with his breaths, his skin even paler than before. His expression was painfully peaceful. The crease in his brows was gone and his lashes fanned delicately across his cheeks. Despite his complexion, he looked beautiful.

Roman’s throat burned. Hot tears raced down his cheeks. His sobs were magnified by the cove, the sounds of his screams making his ears ring. His hands shook. His knees hurt from their sudden impact when he fell. His whole body ached with the pain of secrets kept and friends too far gone to save. 

There was nothing left to do. Everything hurt. He had a headache. Whether it was from his incessant screaming or the fact that he was actually thinking about the possibility of him being half siren, he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that Janus couldn’t die. And Roman wouldn’t let him die. Not after they had both confessed.

And so, he swallowed his pride. He took a gasping breath, trying to even out his breathing in preparation for what he was about to do. After a few moments, he’d finally calmed himself down enough to breathe properly.

And Roman began to sing.

Anguished, desperate vowels. He didn’t bother with words. He couldn’t. Nothing would be good enough. He just let the sounds slip from his throat, coating everything around him in sorrow. His voice slipped into itself as it echoed over the cove walls, sounding more like a choir than a single lost soul.

The tears had returned. He refused to let them fall. If they fell, Roman would have to stop singing, and that  _ wasn’t an option _ . Not with Janus’s life on the line. And so he pushed through, fighting against all reason and praying that what he was doing was enough to keep his love alive.

Somewhere along the line, Janus’s legs began to meld together. His pants were ripped in the process of his limbs returning to their original form. The skin turned slick as it thinned out into the shape of Janus’s tail, gaining yellow pigment as it shifted. The smattering of brown appeared soon after, snaking its way up his left side.

Roman watched with awe and relief as Janus’s breathing returned to normal, and colour began to fade into his features. Something in Roman’s chest loosened as he watched the recovery happen right before his eyes. His vocals skipped and stuttered as he continued, his voice glitching as Janus grew more lively by the moment.

Roman didn’t stop singing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Additional Warnings:** Slightly Unsympathetic Logan and Virgil(it gets rectified later in the story), Arguments  
>   
> There will not be a post on the 9th. I'll be back after next week, this isn't a permanent hiatus, I promise. Updates will resume March 16th. Take care, all. Stay safe, drink water, and have a wonderful week.


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